Meant To Live
by Veil of Dust
Summary: An alternate reality song-fic. May thinks back after her rape. One-shot. PG-13 just in case.


Meant To Live- A May Story  
  
Fumbling his confidence  
  
And wondering why the world has passed him by  
  
Hoping that he's bid for more than arguments  
  
And failed attempts to fly, fly  
  
May bit her lip as she struggled not to cry. All she had wanted to do was be a normal teenager and to have a little bit of fun. She hadn't known all this would happen. When she'd gone to Salene's house last night (in Ryan's car against her parents' wishes) she hadn't known that everything about her secret life would be revealed later that night. Especially at such a great price.  
  
We were meant to live for so much more  
  
Have we lost ourselves?  
  
Somewhere we live inside  
  
Somewhere we live inside  
  
We were meant to live for so much more  
  
Have we lost ourselves?  
  
Somewhere we live inside  
  
She stumbled up into her room, still scared and in pain and hurting. Her mum and dad had been more understanding than any parents should have to be but under the circumstances... She was just happy they hadn't disowned her. Forgetting to change out of her stained clothes and really not caring, she flopped onto her bed and slept as if she was dead. But that didn't stop her nightmares.  
  
Dreaming about Providence  
  
And whether mice or men have second tries  
  
Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open  
  
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken  
  
Clawing at her bed sheets deep in NREM, May was experiencing something that she hadn't since she was a kid. Night terrors, the most scary kind of dream. In her head were visions she couldn't shake, memories she would give anything to have erased.  
  
A party, in full swing. A cute longhaired boy with a cup of beer for her. Walking upstairs. Kissing passionately. Feeling sick. Feeling sleepy. Feeling the boy unbutton her pants.  
  
We were meant to live for so much more  
  
Have we lost ourselves?  
  
Somewhere we live inside  
  
Somewhere we live inside  
  
We were meant to live for so much more  
  
Have we lost ourselves?  
  
Somewhere we live inside  
  
Lurching awake, May felt suddenly remembered how sick he had felt and ran to the bathroom to throw up. After that she sat on her bed in the dark, SO tired, but too afraid to fall asleep again. Instead she tried to let her thoughts wander to a few months ago when she had been happy as a good girl. Before being cool had depended on how dirty her mouth was and how many times she could lie to her parents without them finding out. Before Lex... Before Lex. And she tried to keep her mind off it she really did. But all her thoughts just led to one thing. Last night. The night May had been raped.  
  
We want more than this world's got to offer  
  
We want more than this world's got to offer  
  
We want more than the wars of our fathers  
  
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah  
  
That morning she had awoken with a killer hangover and when she tried to get up and walk it hurt, really bad. Then she saw it. The blood on the bed. She realized that her virginity had been taken in force, or at least trickery. And she passed out again.  
  
When she awoke Salene and her parents were standing over her in a hospital room. Se had been raped. She was in pain. And she had to tell everything. Every embarrassing detail of the night before and her life, the one she'd been hiding. How she had been sneaking out of her house at all hours, cheating on tests, shoplifting, beating girls up who dared even sneer at her. How she had been so excited about seeing Lex that night, she hadn't even noticed the funny taste of her drink. How sorry she was.  
  
Sitting on her windowsill now, May sobbed and cried out in pain. It didn't matter how bad she felt or how guilty she was. She couldn't take this all back. She couldn't make it go away. No matter what.  
  
We were meant to live for so much more  
  
Have we lost ourselves?  
  
We were meant to live for so much more  
  
Have we lost ourselves?  
  
We were meant to live for so much more  
  
Have we lost ourselves?  
  
We were meant to live  
  
We were meant to live 


End file.
